everything has changed in 2012

After so long. my last post was on august 2011. and now its January 2013..
How time past. How things changes so much at 2012..
How could i ever describe my feelings for the things that had happen.

I lost him.. 2012 taught me so much. taught me to be strong. to love, to forgive, to sacrifice, to appreciate, to give up, to move on.

at first i thought we would be fine and never know it would ended like this.

Its been 5 months since we parted. I've been trying my best to win u back, to show u love again. but..... She is all you want . at least You still contact me.
Who do you take me as?
I know u like her, u never wanna give up on her. And you told me. You never wanna let me go too.
i don't wanna be an option. But my heart just couldn't forget you. You came in to my life with so much surprises and so much love. I really felt warm and felt love... you were so different. You were so special. and now you are just a friend. you just wanna be friends with me. and that breaks my heart every time you said
let it be first" "i don't wanna think about anything now" "we are young" . i never gave up on u neither did i gave up on "US". why did i felt hard for you :'(

How much i hope you could just turn and look. who is waiting who is standing beside. who really cares who is always there.

i cant forget you... maybe i will just get use to not having u anymore.. time heals a broken heart .. every day im just waiting my phone to see whether you would whatsapp me anot. we no longer talk like how we use to. but ... i always hope. we could be back .. I don't force u, i don't question you, i don't control you because i have no rights to do those anymore! because. you have her in your heart. and im just ... i don't know. What am i to you actually? where do i stand? are you afraid of losing me actually  do you still have feelings for me? do you still care? do you still love me?


I hope u remember all the little and big things i`ve done for you through out this 2 year plus relationship.. You said it yourself that no one made u feel appreciated like how i do.. I still do appreciate the moments i have with you .

Why? because i still love you. remember the cake, the cards, the laughter, the silly calls, the silly jokes, the silly faces, the long msg, our first date, how i agreed to be your girlfriend, the paintball you made, how we sneak out just to see each other, how you come all the way just to see me because i was having stomach ache, how you cheered me up when i was down after my spm, how we fight and made up , how we hugged and never wanna let go . How much we loved each other, how much you were so scared to lose me and me so scared of losing u too. the small surprises you gave me. the late night conversation.And all our "FIRST TIME" things tgt.  It all became nostalgia.


The love i have for you is explainable  even the mistakes u did in the past.. i just don't care. we don't live at the past anymore. i just wanna create a future. and start over. All i want.. is just to be ur priority again. And i know. it wont happen anymore.
lastly, i hope u get her.

I couldn't win your heart. but at least  i know that i did my best to make u happy and make u feel appreciated for the pass 2 years.

Remember us. you always have a special place in my heart. I hope one day, you realize my efforts.
At least now i felt better typing all this.. there are more unspoken words in my heart. but. i guess i should stop crapping .. :') i will be fine. i will be strong.
Good night my long lost blog.

craving

SOMEONE.....TO FEED ME

DROOLINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.........................

but i want this so badly!! DANG SHE IS HOT!!!

time

having a really great time in uni(: experienced srsly last min stuffs, loads of assignments, quizzes, exams etc etc !!!
Met new friends which are total freakos!!!! even freakier than me , i cant imagine that i could find crazy people in MMU(:
I dont really have the time to blog about and nothing special to blog about !! CRAP!
Worst of all, my laptop DIED again!! i srsly dont wanna spent another thousand to repair it! imma go crazy!!!!!

anyways. gonna have a nap now. chiaoooooo ♥

MMU

Im staying in mmu for the past 2 weeks now. Gonna get use to the super hot weather and the food here.."hopefully i can stand the heat" get what i mean?????

okey i know its lame-.-

anyways. first week was my orientation , and somehow i dont know why many people said" Dont go orientation. is full of crap and boring.. skip it".....the thing is i dont find it boring, i dont find it crappy and i`ll miss the orientation(: knew alot of new friends, experience mud crawling(srsly 1st time) , grabbing on to worms, walking around the campus with bare foot, having late night group meeting. It was actually fun(:
get to know the awesome people who are actually incharge of the whole orientation week which we call them the OC=orientation comity (if im not mistaken)..thanks for their patience and kindness to always see us falling asleep while we`re at the grand hall.

I`ve started my first week of class(:
known my classmates and hopefully we could be closer .


I miss home for sure): miss airconds , food, my bed, my bf<3

anyways, gonna have a nap cause its raining ..teeeheeeeee

speaking of good

its the beautiful 06042011.

Me and my boyfriend celebrated our first year anniversary together.

I dont demand for a candle light dinner but just a simple lunch with him(:

doesn`t mean we need to spent on expensive stuff just to prove to our partner that we love them that much, only the heart that matter <3

anyway, went to jogoya for lunch and ate the hack out of us.

SRSLY! its damn feeling and jogoya did improve alot since my last visit there. Thumbs up.

here are some photos of us (: 

he makes me smile,
he makes me laugh,
he makes me feel loved .
He`s the one i want to spent my life with♥


                                                                          KISSES